Why I don’t say, “I Love You.”

Valentines Day…

For many, it’s a day when dreams can come true.
For others, it’s a day to steer clear of restaurants, florists, and Hallmark stores. For some, a day of nervous anticipation of how to focus and express feelings. And for a few, it’s a reminder that love and life aren’t quite as Disney drew.

Heart 1

Although starting with butterflies in your stomach, big red heart cards, and dinners on the town….romantic love can be fickle. Objectively speaking romantic love fluctuates. (If you are 14-19 years old, and totally-madly-in-love, this does not apply to you!!!) As the dynamics of life’s seasonal challenges play out, the range of romanticism often reacts accordingly.

Sacrificial love is something completely different.  It is characterized as of recent by two sweet friends, Bob & Stacey, as they limp along the cruel world of the “C” word.  Stacey’s commitment to Bob is authenticated as late nights of chemo and morphine turn to sleepless mornings beyond tears to utter weariness.  Commitment beyond the uncomfortable, while I write and remaining committed as you read. Uncertain of exactly what tomorrow may hold… but certain of the sacrifice along the way.

narrow bridge

Sacrificially loving Kristen is the promise I made… (Remember for better or worse, richer or poorer, till death do us part?) Like most, our wedding vows detailed the security of trusting that the relational commitment would transcend finances, health & seasons of challenge.

Opportunity lies in the security of knowing that the one you walk with is just as committed to walk with you no matter the weight of your pack or the terrain underfoot. The resulting joy in the journey is rooted in the security of knowing that you are there for each other.

couple sunset hike

As I consider the gravity of this… a simple, “I love you” tends to sound trite. As if restating the obligatory and obvious.

If we’re living in the joy of the journey.  If our commitment to each other in the many victories remains as secure in the darker challenges as well, That’s true bliss!  To verbalize my truest deepest admiration for and joy of being on this journey with Kristen, I don’t say, “I love you…” I sincerely say…

“I really enjoy being with you!”

In my crazy way of thinking love is not something you say, it’s something you live every day. Not as much in what is scheduled on the calendar… but how we relate with each other in between, choosing to enjoy the challenging processes of life… covering for each other’s weakness while depending on each other’s strengths. This is where the enjoyment of being together lives.


Every relationship is a work in progress,
May yours and mine accelerate in joy as we all…

Enjoy the journey of loving life and living in love.


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2 thoughts on “Why I don’t say, “I Love You.”

  1. Bill, I always enjoy your thoughts and reflections. You have grown into an amazing husband, and dad. I would love to have you come to Keystone Christian Academy for one of our chapels. Let me know if that is even a remote possibility.